Trials and Tribulations. Or Something

I’m contradictory. I’m contrary. I’m also indecisive.  This makes for some rather disappointing shit.  Especially in my life and how I view things.  I can’t stand it.    Here’s 3 things wrong w/ me.

1.   OM is taking early retirement.  There’s a bunch of shit going down where we work and they’re offering  early retirement/severance packages to upper management.  Or the possibility of transferring to another department. Or just staying there and hoping he’s not one of the many that will get fired.  

He emailed me at home and told me his last day is as early as May 9th as late as May 23rd.  I’m kind of conflicted over this. A little bit upset, a little bit relieved.   But in the email he also revealed he was planning on leaving June 1st anyways.   So I’m glad this worked out for him.  His leaving was just made a little sweeter.  

But at the same time…. like I said, I’m a little upset.  And I hate that I feel this way since I’ve super glued the light switch in the off position.  (And I plan on keeping it there. —- Out of sight, out of mind!)  But I won’t get to talk to him whenever I want.  I could email him, but it’s not the same.  The man has been in my life for almost 7 years now.  I’m use to him.  I think that’s what’s bothering me.

Either way my feelings changed depending on the hour this week, I’m going to miss him.

2.  OIC…. not so much anymore.  It’s been almost 2 months, or has actually been over 2 months since I’ve told him to start taking me seriously in my pursuit of happiness.   Last night was the final straw.  I let him know how I feel, although he couldn’t answer back because as always he’s “BRB.”   I think that right there is what pushed me over the edge.  I basically told him I was sick of his shit.  Either stop playing the game and take me seriously or get the fuck out of my life.   We’ll see what happens, but I’m not  holding my breath and I’m not counting on anything. 

3.  I’ve come across a guy who has a damn sexy voice.  And kept me on the phone for a little over an hour… past my bedtime.  He has a great sense of humor.  He’ll paint my walls, do my dishes, and a plant my flowers all for the whopping price of “all my silver stars.”   Granted, I don’t have silver stars, and I hope he knows I’m joking, but it’s fun nonetheless.  However, yes — a however, he’s rather short for a guy.  And it’s something that bothers me.  But at the same time I think: Hmmmm…. wonder what sex would be like w/ him.  I bet it wouldn’t be awkward because we’d almost be perfectly lined up.   He does have his age going for him.  7 years and 4 days difference than me.   And he has a job.  Hopefully a more stable one than mine.  Ha ha ha.  And he has a house, w/ a pool.   So yay! for independence and maturity!

I feel like I should be pulling my hair out. But at the same time I know next week, I’ll be back to my calm, cool, collected self.  Or somewhere relatively close to there.  Until then, I remain aggravated.