So . . . I Gave Him a Kiss

I walked up to the Older Man as he was reading something on his computer.  I said, “Do you want a kiss?”  He did a double look at me, kind of smiled and pretty much said, “What?”  I held my hand out to him.  I said, “A Hershey’s kiss.”  It was a white chocolate peppermint kiss.  He took it out of my hand.   He unwrapped it.  Placed it in his mouth and enjoyed it.  I continued to walk by him.  And as I did, I said, “Tell me if you want one later.”   He said, “Okay.”  I blushed and mentally castigated myself the whole way out into the hallway.  What was I thinking????

After I came back from a little excursion, I went to my desk.  Got another Kiss.  And gave it to him.  I told him I like em because they taste like Andes Mints.  And I think they do.  And I proceeded to tell him that minty kisses are appreciated.  He said that it was good to know and the he’d “remember that.”  I walked away.

Now here’s the thing.  I’m moving.  And he knows where I’m moving too, because prior to this episode, he was at my new place.  He was there for an hour, give or take.  Longer than I thought he’d be there.  Longer than . . . well, just longer.  He actually put himself to work and corrected my wobbly frig.  Totally his own doing.  We discussed what I’ll be doing to the place as I live there.  (Carpets needs be replaced.  New gas furnace.  Redo kitchen due to new stove being put in.  Washer/dryer plumbing being redirected.  Expanding the bathroom.  The colors I’ll paint the walls.  The vinyl flooring being retiled. )  And he told me I had a nice pad. 

The next day he brought me some cleaning supplies for my kitchen floor,  which I have not used yet.  I asked him what he would like as payment. I just thought I’d give him the money for the things.  He said, “Dinner.”  Ok, yeah, my jaw dropped. . . As it is wont to do when he says such things.  Then he added onto it, naming all the people we usually go out to lunch w/ on occassion.  I don’t know if that’s what he meant all along, or if he said that accordingly to my hang jaw reaction.   Either way. . . .

He told me has some left over wooden tiles he could bring me for the floor in front of my front door.  He didn’t have enough, after he checked.  But he did have some other tile his mother bought.  He brought that over.   And this was after the Hershey’s Kiss Episode. 

He was only there for a little while.  Like maybe a half hour.  But it was funny.  He kept pacing all over the place.  Talking rather fast. Saying nonesensical things.   Talking about Justin Timberlake, (of all fucking people.)  And he complimented me on my painting skills.   Then, he whisked himself out my front door.  Looked like he was practically running from me.  Not like the last time he left, he took his good old time. (No pun intended.)

It was kind of humorous.  Why would he run from me? Was he actually running from me?  Was it maybe because he remembers I offered him a kiss?  I hope he didn’t think that I was going to jump him, or even expect him to ask me for a kiss.  I wasn’t looking at his mouth as much as I usually do.  And I didn’t stare at his crotch as much as I usually do. (He was wearing those jeans that I appreciate so much, tho!)  I wish I could know what was going thru his mind. 

Ya know, even tho I offered the kiss, I don’t think I would have gave it if he asked.  But we’ll never know.  Or will we?

Whip It Out, Big Boy!

I find that giving fellatio is a turn-on.

Ok.  I lied. 

It use to be a turn-on.  Back when giving them meant power to me.   Having a man’s dick in between my lips, running my tongue around and down him.  Fondling his balls gently in my hands… (Ok, sometimes not so gently.) Licking up and down, around, back down, hollowing my cheeks out.  It was a turn-on. 

To have a man’s pleasure in your hands.  Giving it.  Taking it away.  Prolonging it. It was a crazy thrill for me.  I use to meet guys and just give them blow jobs.  Nothing in return.  I just licked my lips, and walked away, when I was done.

If they had their hands in my hair, all the better.  I especially liked it when they pulled my hair out of my face so they could see better.  I liked looking up at them,  watching their eyes.  Seeing them watching their dick disappear into my mouth.   

The moans,  groans, the quickened breath, words of encouragement, the pleading.  Mmmmmmmmm. . .

It’s almost orgasmic thinking of the way it use to be for me.

It’s That Rape Thing, Again

The one guy, Eagles, that I wrote about in a previous blog has mentioned violating me.  Raping me.  And he said it jokingly. If only he knew.

We were talking late last night online and well, I was tired so I kind of went along w/ all he was saying.  And he mentioned, once again, he might rape me.  (That is, if what I told him prior conversations months ago, doesn’t stand now.)

He said we’ll get the niceities out of the way and then he’s taking me.  I asked him where he’s  taking me. 

“Eagles”:  I’m taking you over the tip of my cock straight down to my balls.

Ok, I’ll admit, that sent a tingle to my pussy.

I love it when a guy talks dirty to me.  Tells me what he wants to do to me.  What he wants me to do to him.  I love it when he uses those naughty words.  Like cock, dick, pussy, cunt.  And definitely, definitely fuck.  Oh how I love that word.

And w/ Eagles, rape is fast becoming a favorite.  (Hmmm, whoever would have thought?)

I think it’s funny that he keeps bringing up that word. And I’m not sure if he’s noticed that I haven’t said yay or nay to it.  Well, I guess if it’s rape, there really isn’t an answer I can give him.  He can only worry if his actions would land him in jail, or I’ll ask him for more.  But really, once you’ve been “raped” can you be raped again?  I think after the first time, there’s only being forceful. 

And he does seem to have a very dominant bone in his body.  Considering he wants to take me.  And I have no say in this.  But I did tell him once, before he became a damn wuss, that as soon as he walked in my door, he could strip me of my clothes and fuck the hell out of me.   I made him that promise.  But w/ what all happened, well. . . . do I still want him to do that?  I think I might just tell him no and see if he really will rape me. 

I think if he does, I just might have to kiss his feet!

My Parents’ Friend.. Oh My!

I mentioned my parents’ have a friend who is 10 years older than me.  Married, w/ child.

Well, I’m going to be going on vacation w/ all the wackjobs next summer.  From Saturday to Saturday.  Close quarters and all that good “we share responsibilities” shit.  I found out thru mother dearest that he’s happy I will be going w/.  Hmmm.  Yay!    I know why he’s happy.  It’s because he has another person to pick on.  But his kind of picking is okay w/ me.  Altho kind of awkward when around his wife.

I actually spent some time w/ him this summer…. w/ his family and mine.  And we had fun.  We all went swimming.  And the first thing he does is splash me.  Doesn’t give me time to get in the water, just splashes me.   Then he gets his kid involved.  Picking him up and throwing him at me for a bigger splash.   I tried my damndest to get him back, cuz, I’m just like that.  I like being playful w/ the right person. And evidently he’s the right person.   And it’s so awkward because his wife was just watching us.  Too wussified to get in the water. 

What I wouldn’t give for a few alone minutes w/ him.  Muahahahahahaha (that’s my evil laugh, btw.)  S’not going to happen tho.   I was actually offered the extra room they have in their camper when I visited this past summer.  And I was really wondering….. “if only she knew that wouldn’t be good,” especially since she was leaving at 2am to go to work….. But the kid would have been in the way.  Eh.  Well.  Hell. 

Here’s a big huge ass dilemma, if he ever were to act on inspiration.  (If he were ever so inclined.)  He’s a friend of my parents’…. just as much as the wife.  How awkward would it be to be around my parents then?  For him, the wife, me?  Oy!   

However, I know he’s loyal, faithful and all that other marriage vow BS.  So I can dream.  Awkward!! 

I Stuck My Tongue Out at Him

It’s the funniest and most embarassing thing I’ve done to him.  I don’t know why I did it.  It was just something I did.  My face turned bright red.  I laughed my ass off for a good 5 minutes.   I guess it was seeing his shock at me doing that.  Plus what he said next, “I could say something, but I don’t want to get in trouble.”

In trouble?  With whom?  And why?  Would he get in trouble for saying his mind? Because it’s a work place?  Would he get in trouble w/ me?  Would his wife not like somehow finding out what he said?   I don’t know.  All these thoughts came into my head, because if someone stuck their tongue out at me, and I was even remotely interested in him, I would have said the usual, “Don’t stick it out, if you don’t intend on using it.”  I kinda wanted to beg him, plead for him to tell me, but I didn’t want to be let down w/ his reply.

Ever since the day I wrote a blog about the Older Man, it seems as tho, HE KNOWS!  I can’t be quite sure.  But he just might.  Or else he’s bouncing sexual innuendos off of me more. He’s been letting me kow he’s been horny forever, it sounds.  He’s the one letting me know that sex is always on his mind.  He’s been flirting of a sort.

He said he’d take me w/ him when he moved (at work.)   He said his day just isn’t a good day unless I’m there.   And he keeps asking me about baking pies.   (Ah, so his alcohol induced fog isn’t really shrouding his memories of what I was doing that one night I was doing a favor for him.  And hell if I didn’t want him to make a move on me that night, too.)

 He’s offered to come over to my place and dust my ceiling.   He even said he’d tell his wife, or well, ask his wife if it’d be okay, if she had anymore cleaning for him to do.  (And it’s not like he does cleaning because he’s made to, it’s what he does…. He is domesticated and he made himself that way.)

Somehow we got on the topic of S&M bars/clubs.  I know I mentioned Cruising, it went from there.  And he  said that he saw a TV show about an S&M restaurant.  But it was years ago.  He said he wasted a few months on the internet trying to find the place.  He and his wife even went up to NY to see where it was.  Me being the nice person I am, told him I’d try and do some research for him.  I found some restuarant for him, but I doubt it’s even open anymore.  He said if he ever needed my help w/ research again he’d call me, then asked if I kept my window open so I’d hear him.  I was this close to giving him my phone number.  But I shied away because where I work, there are eavesdroppers everywhere, and I don’t need to be accused of anything.  I sorta like my job.

It’s interesting hearing about him and what he likes to do on his excursions.  His wife and him seem to like visiting those kinds of places.  Like in Key West.  And NY.  Jamaica.  Kinda makes me wonder exactly which one he is.  Is he the dominant one or the submissive one.  The way he comes across he’d definitely be the submissive one.  Altho, he’s said in not so many words he’s not.  But yet, I can’t see him bossing his wife around.  In a way he seems to be, not so much afraid of women, just not the kind of tell a lady what he likes or would like done to him.  He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who likes to inflict pain.   Or be assertive.   Maybe he’s just openly deceptive.  Hmmmm…..

This is where it’s kinda weird w/ our dynamic.  He seems to think I’m a sadist to the umpth degree.  He thinks I like doling out pain, that I do it on whim, w/out thinking.  It’s what I do.  I get pleasure out of it.  When I try to tell him otherwise, he just doesn’t believe me.  I know I put a good front up about things.  Like I’m mean. (Which I kind of am.)  But it’s because I haven’t found someone willing to put me in my place.

All I know is I’ll miss him when he moves to a different floor.  What am I going to do? Maybe I will give him my phone number?

  

Anonymous Rendezvous

I have a place I need to be at a certain time. I need to be at the hotel to meet you. Altho I don’t know you, not your name, what you look like, where you’re from, or your age (altho you have assured me you are legal,) I trust you. The reason I trust you: you’re making a fantasy come true. We’ve only talked a few times in the chatrooms, but in that time, I figured “What the hell?” You’re a stranger, you’re not going to judge me. You’re feeling adventureous just like me. You appreciate my forwardness.I tell you I want to meet you at a hotel. I want you to be there waiting for me. In the dark. No lights on, no blinds or curtains open. I want you to get a feel for the room in the dark, so you can guide me. So you can set me where you like and do what you like. We’ve discussed that there is no talking, our mouths can not even form whispered words. The only sounds allowed are the ones that come freely of the pleasure being had.

There are no other rules.

 This has been a fantasy of mine now for over 10 years.  Ever since the internet came into my life.  Ever since I talked to an out of state business man who had come here for work, who found me, who suggested something like this.  If it weren’t for him, I doubt I’d ever have thought of having complete anonymous sex.   

I’ve even gone one step farther and had the Stranger become someone I know.  Altho the person may know me, I don’t know that it’s him.  He uses a different name, maybe.  He tells me he’s from out of state, but only truly lives 10 miles from me, if that, maybe.    And maybe the rules have changed….Maybe it’s just that I don’t know it’s him on the internet, but when I go to the hotel room, it’s lit up and I see his face.  Or we keep the lights off and he talks to me.   The only question remaining, once I know it’s him, will I take the chance?

I’m in lust w/  the idea of having a secret rendezvous w/ a stranger.