It Use to Be Fun

I’ve had vanilla sex.  Missionary, me on top, spoon fashion, doggy. Oh yeah, doggy!  I love that position the best.  For some reason I don’t like looking at the guy I’m having sex with.  Not even if it’s a guy I love. Or think I love. Or at best, infatuated with.  And if it’s missionary we’re doing, my eyes are closed and my head turned to the side….Every now & then, I peek, but I ain’t staring meaningfully into anybodys’ eyes.  Well, there’s another reason I love it: I can get it as hard and fast as I please, or as hard and as fast as they can give it to me.  And I’m always about telling them they’re not doing it as hard or as fast as they can.  Oh, I also love it for the spanking factor.  I like looking over my shoulder and seeing red.  I like feeling that *smack* and my inner muscles clenching.  I love not knowing when it’s coming.   Another reason to love it: he can wrap his hand around my throat and pull back, squeeze.  Not enough that I couldn’t breathe right away, loose enough I could breathe, but there is that risk factor. If he squeezed too hard, well that’s homicide for him, and death for me.  If he did it just right, over the edge I went.

My X, my god, the man could go super fast and super hard, but after 10-15 minutes of that magnitude, he had to slow down or stop.  I didn’t mind.  I tried to catch my breath just like him, but for different reasons.   Then we were back at it again.  On the bed, on the floor, on the couch, on the porch steps. Anywhere I could bend over, I was bending over.  And sometimes I even wore heels.  His hands are huge, they fit my neck perfectly and he had enough strength in them to make me wary but not frightened. And his hands covered my ass.  In more ways then I’m writing about now.

I actually gave my X a blowjob in his parents’ car on the way to the movies.  That was something new for me.  I never actually truly gave a guy a blowjob to completion before in a car.  He finished in my mouth in the parking lot w/ a group of teens looking on from the sidewalk.   We saw the movie.  We went back to his parents’ place.   They were staying in a church group home.  This means, pastors and their families stayed there.  They gave me a room w/ 2 twin beds and my own bathroom, which was beside an office.  I was on the 2nd floor, my X had to stay upstairs on the 3rd floor w/ his rents. 

Ooooo, wait.  I remember, after the movie we walked up the stairs to my floor, started making out in the hallway, bumped into a few things, as I was fumbling for the key, he yanked down my pants, turned me around,  pushed me up against the wall, and started fucking me r–e–a–l  s–l–o–w.   I eventually got the key in the hole.  We ended up on the bed, my ass against his crotch, him fucking me just how I like it, possibly even better, because he knew, he fucking knew, I had to be quiet.   Nothing like getting the pounding of a lifetime and you can’t express what it means to you!!!! That, in and of itself, was a huge turn on.

By the way, his dad is a pastor.  Kind of a dream turned naughty.  Especially since he grew up in the church, he *knows* the 10 commandments, he *knows* he’s going to hell for having premarital sex, etc.  I kind of think that was a turn on for me.  Knowing he was suppose to be good, he was suppose to listen to his daddy.  But me, I got in the way of all that. I made him do these things.  Ok, well I didn’t make him, but it’s so gooooood to think of it that way.   He is/was just so open about sex.  That’s what I miss about him. 

Anyways, while he was away in military school, we became more open w/ each other.  Actually, I remember walking around Barnes & Noble, when he was home for a visit, explaining a passage in “Exit to Eden” by Ann Rice.  I leaned against him, got my mouth as close to his ear as I could, and whisper about the lady having the guy tied up, standing up, using a double ended dildo, sticking it in her cunt and up his ass.  Yes….. HIS ass!   That’s a turn on! (I’ll admit this later: I have gay porn, there’s something about seeing two men kissing, w/ tongues, that makes my juices run.)  My X said he would never do that (Not the kissing thing, the dildo in the ass thing.)  Because he thought it was gay.  But then, he brought it up one day.  He told me I could do that. I could fuck his ass if I wanted.  We talked about going to the Toy Store. Getting me a strap-on;  what size it should be, etc.   We went to The Store, but never got the toy.  I had one, but it was puny in comparison to what he was thinking about.  We never got past the first knuckle of my middle finger.  It didn’t stop him from getting hard as nails when we talked about it though.  It didn’t stop him from cumming all over his chest either.  He still likes the idea of it.

And he likes all the other ideas I’ve told him too.  He says, “They’re sexy.”